Morning Reality

Odd at how your life changes, dictated by the situation of life?

I am a night person, have been for most of my entire life, where I was always the last to go to sleep, last to get up in the morning. Going to school was a chore, because it meant getting up in the morning. As an adult my life was to sleep in, when possible, and now that I look after Mom, that hadn't changed much, until recently.

Now I am still the last to go to bed, but the first to wake up, to be upstairs for/ or if, anything happens as Mom gets up. She has fallen before, so better to be closer, not have to get dressed and rush up, or look for a robe after hearing the crashing sound.

Yet, even being up, the fear is there. You peek your head in, to check and make sure the chest is rising, or to hear signs of anything, to convince yourself that all things are the same. 

Hell of a way to start a day, and yet, inside I know. It is going to get harder, which scares me. Am I strong enough to deal with this, can I cope with this and still manage to run the household?

Yet there really isn't a choice, is there? This is life with a 91 year old.