One has obligations, yet it seems, they take a backseat, when one is looking after another person. It becomes frustrating, as you continue to let your own work slide, in order to keep on top of what is more important, the health of a loved one.
Yet inside, you resent it, you become bitter even or angry at it, and it then becomes a struggle, between the unfairness of it, and the need to do what is right. It becomes apparent at how easy it is to try and push off one's responsibilities, and why so many refuse to take the task on.
Looking after someone who is nearly 92, whose health is failing, is a struggle, where your emotions get twisted, get warped, and you have to keep telling yourself, this is what is right.
I know that I am glad I am not a health care worker. I don't think I could handle the emotional drain that doing this 24/7 would cause. Yet in some respect, I am doing just that, 24/7. Funny, how we don't equate what we are doing, with what others do? I mean, okay there obviously isn't the emotional connection between a nurse and their patient, as there is between me and mom, but unless you are a cold hearted drone, you have to feel something?
Maybe that explains why the good nurses, don't seem to last as long as the uncaring ones? I don't know, but I know that if you can't feel, you aren't really alive, and whatever help you can offer, is not going to be as good as if you cared.
There are times when I hate this, when I wish it would all just, go away. Yet deep down inside, I know that day is going to come and I am going to literally hate it. It isn't easy caring, is it?
Yet isn't that what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom?
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