New Doctor

Today is a big day, mom gets to see the new doctor.

Already I am more impressed, as he's ordered blood work prior to seeing her, and at least is taking more of an interest, than her current physician, about to be 'ex' physician.

In some ways, it scares me too, because what will he find, that this other one has missed, and I know, one should hope for the best, but something has to be causing her incontinence, and her choking, etc.

Not knowing is worse, I think than knowing the worst. It amazes me how Doctors seem to forget that, when they hide things, or cloak them in mystery. I hope this one, isn't that way.

we'll soon find out.

Keeping On Top of Doctors

I am no rocket scientist, or genius, but like many others, I place my trust in those who should know. Like Doctors should know about things, that there is now way I would, like what test results indicate.

Then too, maybe we place too much into that blind trust for Physicians?

I think we tend to grant these people, God Like Status, when the simple truth is, they are merely educated people, doing a tough & hard job, that has life & death implications.

As a caregiver for mom, I need to educate myself, on the basics, so I can catch what the doctor or nurse, might miss. Like her INR results. Our current Doctor seems unconcerned that is low, but the new Doctor doesn't agree, and is ordering more tests. (see my Google Groups Discussion on this)

It isn't easy, because many Doctors actually seem to believe they are GOD, and so questioning them becomes a battle. That isn't helping the patient, or the family. It also says that ego is more important, than perhaps results.

Odd, how life becomes so complicated, when you have to deal with ego's on top of simply, trying to stay alive, or do the right thing. I mean, what is it about some people, who place their own ego, ahead of others, like their patients? It is supposed to be a sort of relationship, isn't it? One where they work together, to keep you alive, keep you healthy?

Seems some, are more interested in just making big bucks, rather than helping you live out your days, in comfort, or as pain free as possible. Strange how their attitude is different, if you are in your 40's & 50's and not 92.

92 Today

Mom is 92 today, and so far, knock on wood, it appears to be a better day, than she's had for awhile. She is more alert, less choking spells, and even her color looks good, for a change. I wonder, does enjoying such milestones, add to one's health?

Kind of makes me wonder about how our minds work, and how they impact our health?

Maybe there is something to all this 'positive thinking' stuff, and also to one's own determination. She is a tough bird, has survived a lot, and I wonder, just how much that plays in her being able to function today, 92 years strong?

Kind of makes me wonder, about myself, if maybe my life could be better, longer, if I adjusted my own thinking a bit, and controlled the stress more, ate less, smoked less, and just, well started enjoying what I can, and not worrying about what I have no control over?

Interesting thinking, for the day. Now too, need to see about a cake for after dinner, as it is special.

Leaning on the Wife

I wonder, how a single person can cope, in looking after a senior parent, like I do? I am not single, and the wife, does work too, so in some sense it is just me. Though I get the chance to go downstairs, to have a shower, by having the wife upstairs. David is pretty good at that, but it makes me wonder, how do single people manage?

To that end, I've decided to start a Google Group, called Caring 247.

If you are interested in joining it, hey come on in.

The topics are simple, they are about caring for an elderly person, and the way it actually impacts us, as well as them. It is about support, advice, and well, a chance to vent.

Daily Grind

At times, one gets a feeling of just, well, not resentment, not anger, but sort of a feeling of resignation, that life is not going to be easier, get better. Least when you are responsible for the well being of another. I mean, looking after someone 24/7 is never easy, and it doesn't get easier, as health issues arise, as you just try to maintain the status quo.

Yet, there are ways to combat it, I think.

One of the biggest problems, is the sense of being alone, of being isolated, from other human contact, because going out, having a social life, is hard, if not downright impossible. Yet, other's manage, but how?

The Internet is one help, in that you have a myriad of information out there, if you can find it. There are groups, supposedly, that help, and yet, it is about finding them.

Sure, there are groups, like Yahoo, even MSN I think, and Orkut (google) but the amount of spam, of heartache needed to get them going, is just, unreal. But maybe it is a solution? Who knows, maybe time to find out.

Door to Door

Don't you just love starting off the morning, with a pair of people walking up your driveway, the dog barking her head off as if the place is about to be attacked?

It is such fun, to enjoy, before that first cup of coffee has made it down your gullet, and you find out, that pair of folks coming to your door, that have just thrown your morning into a turmoil, are coming to share a message from God with you.

Now, I believe in God, and being Jewish, missionary work is, well let's put it this way, Judaism frowns on converts. In fact, it makes it hard for one not born Jewish, to become Jewish, but that aside, you have to wonder about the thinking of these people, or at least those who send them out.

I mean Friday mornings, a just after 9am? Uh, not what I'd call smart timing, and then there are those who are just winding down from getting the kids off to school, or the other half off to work, and it is their brief time of the day, to catch a breath, have a casual cup of coffee, before starting their own daily grind, of housework. Interrupting that moment, just doesn't make sense.

I know I get grumpy when interrupted, for those brief moments I get to myself. I imagine other's do as well.

So why do they do it? Is it some sort of test for them, of their faith, their willingness to be insulted or turned away? Crazy way to prove your faith, if that is true.

Doctors & Nurses

You know, it rather pisses me off, that I am getting more input from nurses, than our family doctor. I mean, Mom gets rushed to Hospital, and so far, I've had about 4 or 5 calls from the home support Nurses, but not a peep from our Doctor.

Worse is, they are pestering him about the medications, the issues, and still, not a single peep from him. It is like, well she is 91, so he can't be arsed to try and make things easier.

Whatever happened to the principal, the value that every life was important, not just those who had years left?

Burying Their Mistakes

It is an old saying, about how Doctor's bury their mistakes, and I think it is perhaps true. Maybe more than we would like to admit, or believe.

Mom takes coumadin, a blood thinner. Each month she is supposed to have a blood test, to determine the levels, and to make any adjustments, if needed.

If you have followed this blog, you know she is having some health issues, one of which, is her bowels. The Doctor finally, after some hard pushing arranged for a home testing, that being where the blood technician comes to the home, to take her blood, instead of her going out to the lab.

At that time, he also arranged for some more extensive blood testing, and it's been over a month. No news is good news, right? It should be, but how does one know?

Her second test was last week, and this time, I asked for a copy of the tests be sent to me, which I got, and to my surprise, her INR test showed the levels to be low. 1.7 instead of at least 2.0

Not a word yet from the doctor, who should have gotten the results before me, last week. I got my copy today. I called, and gee, an answering machine, but this is too low. It can allow for blood clots to form, and so it worries me, but what really has me in a cold sweat, is what were the results from earlier on?

Is that why I rushed her to the Emergency Room, because a clot passed through that shouldn't have, if the thinner medications had been adjusted? Could her levels have been low last month, but the doctor not recognized it, so did nothing?

And what of the other blood tests, did they show nothing, or did they show something, but he didn't see it?

Losing a Day, and another, and another

One has obligations, yet it seems, they take a backseat, when one is looking after another person. It becomes frustrating, as you continue to let your own work slide, in order to keep on top of what is more important, the health of a loved one.

Yet inside, you resent it, you become bitter even or angry at it, and it then becomes a struggle, between the unfairness of it, and the need to do what is right. It becomes apparent at how easy it is to try and push off one's responsibilities, and why so many refuse to take the task on.

Looking after someone who is nearly 92, whose health is failing, is a struggle, where your emotions get twisted, get warped, and you have to keep telling yourself, this is what is right.

I know that I am glad I am not a health care worker. I don't think I could handle the emotional drain that doing this 24/7 would cause. Yet in some respect, I am doing just that, 24/7. Funny, how we don't equate what we are doing, with what others do? I mean, okay there obviously isn't the emotional connection between a nurse and their patient, as there is between me and mom, but unless you are a cold hearted drone, you have to feel something?

Maybe that explains why the good nurses, don't seem to last as long as the uncaring ones? I don't know, but I know that if you can't feel, you aren't really alive, and whatever help you can offer, is not going to be as good as if you cared.

There are times when I hate this, when I wish it would all just, go away. Yet deep down inside, I know that day is going to come and I am going to literally hate it. It isn't easy caring, is it?

Yet isn't that what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom?